“I always knew God has called me to something unique. What i mean is, a consecration of some sort, to be set apart, you know, truly Sought Out into something unique. I used to scoff at the idea that in this day and age God would require something to that extent. Don’t get me wrong, it isn’t something God asks everyone, neither am i boasting that I am someone special compared to his other children. I am simply stating that God has a unique calling in each of our lives and this happens to be mine.
It all started with my obsession with movies. I personally am the type who gets addicted to shows very easily. Yes, that may show a lack of discipline in my life and that is something the Lord is teaching me, but apart from that, i have a personality that falls into addictions easily. I would begin with one show after work, or school because i was so tired and i’m about to eat dinner so i just want to watch something with dinner. What is the harm in that? Then it became watching tv while i was about to go to sleep. 30 mins became an hour, an hour became two, and so on. Soon I would find myself avoiding the voice of God that told me to control it, walk away from this, turn this off now. Soon my heart became hardened to the voice of God. I began to hide now. Every time i was to go to youth meeting, i would find an excuse to say i’m busy. Every time pastor or my youth leader says its time to pray, i would casually step out of the room, because you know, i was holding it in this whole time, so i have to use the bathroom right when prayer is about to start. Oh, i laugh at my excuses now, but my pattern is obvious, and i did it all to hide from Him. I could keep going into the details, but basically, some sort of trial has to now come for me to cry out to God to be restored once again (what a shame btw trust me when i say you don’t want to wait for this), but i would soon be walking with the Lord again. See how good our God is? Slow to anger, abounding in love.
Anyway, He began to teach me that TV is next. I would have to cut off TV completely. But God, cut off TV?? is that even possibly? Do you realize we live in the 21st century where TV is basically EVERYWHERE! I mean, seriously God, think about it, i go to work, there s probably a TV playing somewhere, i go home from work, there’s TV there, i go to a restaurant to eat with family, there’s definitely a TV there. How in the world will i explain to someone, GOD told me not to watch TV anymore? Can you imagine the ridicule? How in this day and age are you going to tell me to be separated from TV? I don’t understand God, do you mean cut off my addiction? control how much i watch TV? “No, i want you to be separated from TV… your purpose will not be fulfilled until you sacrifice this area.”
I began to try to walk away. I saw myself do well for maybe a month, then somehow, it would start the cycle of 30mins, 30 mins to an hour all over again. After trying and falling too many times than i can count, i’m realizing He wasn’t kidding. God wasn’t joking when He said separate myself in this manner.
I was distraught for the most part because i just realized how hard my life was going to be without having TV.
Then I realized something greater, this calling is unique. This is a confirmation in my heart that God is doing something greater in my life, something that requires being set apart in this way. He reminded me of the story of Samson, not about Samson himself, but about his mother. Judges 13:3-5 reads, “And the Angel of the LORD appeared to the woman and said to her, ‘Indeed now, you are barren and have borne no children, but you shall conceive and bear a son. Now therefore, please be careful not to drink wine or similar drink, and not to eat anything unclean. For behold, you shall conceive and bear a son, and no razor shall come upon his head for the child shall be a Nazirite to God from the womb; and he shall begin to deliver Israel out of the hand of the Philistines.” She was so in shock that she went and told her husband and her husband and they prayed that God would tell them once again and so He did in Judges 13:11 on. He confirmed this calling on my life when He spoke this over me. Greatness came out when she obeyed. Imagine what would have been the case if this woman said that it was too hard to refrain, the Lord had asked for too much. Samson would not have been birthed out of her.
You see, the road with Him is not easy, but it is perfect. When He speaks to you, He means it. His words are not void, it is full, it is Life. He is not like us where we tend to use a billion words to explain one simple little concept (like this article). His words are few, but when He speaks, He means every word so grab hold, and obey.
Why did i write this LONG journal?Obedience. We’ve been hearing a lot about obedience these days. I wanted to share my journey with the Lord to remind you that our calling is not always easy, its not always the popular thing to do, but it is always the most rewarding. Obedience is key. One thing i have learned is that you can’t partially obey this calling. I can’t cut off tv for a month and be back at it the next month, it doesn’t work that way, my purpose will remained unfinished. Am i perfect and have fulfilled this? No, i still struggle, but is that ok? Yes, because its something God is walking me through and He has not forsaken me.
I’m not saying God requires this from all of you so don’t freak out yet. I’m asking you to open your heart right now as you read this, begin to ask Him, what do you require from me? What is my sacrifice? How can i surrender to you? And may the Lord begin to work in you as you ask these questions and spend time in His presence.”